BREAKING NEWS: Mayor Bloomberg is Selling New York City to Japan!

My friend just told me. He said he heard about it on FOX News. This is what his text said:

Dude, just heard about Bloomberg on FOX. NYC is getting sold to Japan, you gotta get out of here dude.

Yep. Just a little piece of news that CNN chose NOT to cover in favor of covering Unicorns! (See below).

Really this day has been momentous to me. Three friends are getting married, four just broke up with their significant others (one of them recently engaged... YIKES!), five lost their jobs, fourteen are moving to LA, and one went back into the closet. And yet, CNN, I find that your lack of coverage of major news stories is the most eventful thing.

Year of the Blog to CNN: I make fun of you a lot, but I always respected you. Not anymore.